Well, it turns out that the "hostel room" doubles as the hotel's emergency shelter, complete with a giant air purification system and glow-in-the-dark emergency instructions posted on every wall. It was completely liveable, and aside from the fact that the shower opened (and leaked) into the room itself rather than the bathroom, and also that after dark I had to walk around the entire building to get to the lobby to ask one of my many questions, I really had no problems with the hostel room.
On Tuesday morning, my new room was available, so I moved upstairs. It's really a lovely room, with two big windows opening over the back garden, a bathroom that seems luxurious because the shower is actually inside it, and a desk where I can work. There is a reading light above the bed, which also seems luxurious, because in the hostel room I had to string a lamp over the emergency air purification system to read in bed, and I still had to get up in order to turn it off. So, now I am in $50-a-night heaven, and this has really been a warm and lovely place to stay.

The hostel room.

The regular room (my luxury suite!).